What Went Right

Today is the last day of Christmas break.  Normally I’d feel totally wiped out, like I just finished a perverse marathon where the goal was to consume all the shopping trips, cocktail parties, meals out, school holiday performances, See’s Candy, and Chardonnay possible between November 22 and January 1^st without going broke, throwing up or yelling at any dim-witted retail clerks.  This year is different.  I feel good.  I could probably still use a week at Betty Ford, but I am mostly in a healthy place -- rested, inspired, and connected with my family and friends. 

Were my relatives all medicated?  Did someone slip the Professor a lobotomy?  Had the boys finally taken me seriously about cutting off technology devices?  Was it possible that my best friend intuitively knew that what I really needed for Christmas was a nice, long visit with her?  Why did everything go so well?

It started with Thanksgiving.  Charlie’s Bar Mitzvah was scheduled for the Saturday before, and I was planning to be the ultimate nut job and turn a simple Bar Mitzvah celebration into a week-long festival of eating, drinking and arguing, with the grand finale being a homemade turkey feast for anyone not smart enough to leave town promptly after the Bar Mitzvah ended.  Fortunately I didn’t get my way.  My mother-in-law invited everyone to Cabo San Lucas for some R&R.  Thank God she is brilliant and I didn’t spend the week in my kitchen, muttering to myself, wandering around with a glass of wine permanently glued to my palm.  And I didn’t miss the smell of turkey cooking, not one teeny, tiny, little bit. 

I wondered if we could repeat the success of a calm holiday over Christmas break.  Traditionally we meet our friends in Palm Desert, which is restorative, but this year they had just flown out for the Bar Mitzvah and we are heading back to see them in February.  The Professor suggested we go to the Galapagos. Even though I love to travel, the magic, I knew, wasn’t in taking a trip.

I had so much work piled up that I feared vacation would turn into me at the computer and the boys in front of the TV.  I wanted to spend quality time with them but also wanted to get a lot of shit crossed off my list.  I didn’t want to spend my precious free time buying a bunch of crap for them and then yelling at them because I spent my day running stupid errands instead of doing something of quality.  I wanted to be productive and be with them, and that was it.

We decided to stay home for Christmas, have a few friends and family over, get caught up on all our projects and take a short trip to San Francisco.  To ensure we didn’t let the two weeks slip by without honoring what was important to us, we each picked something we wanted to do individually and also something we wanted to do as a family.  I wrote them on a white board and left it up in the kitchen.  This was our list:

--bodysurf day and movie night with Aunt Hayley

--sleepover with Jack (that was Sam’s, not mine)

--walk around the neighborhood with Huck at night to see the Xmas lights

--family board game

--family movie night

--take sheets and blankets to animal shelter

--volunteer at Hunger Project

--long hike

We did all of it.  As a HUGE bonus, the Professor took the boys hiking for three days to Joshua Tree and I literally spent the entire time researching and writing.  No errands, no socializing, just peace of mind.  It was one of the best gifts I ever received.  Time. Time to think.  Guilt free.

My last blog post was July 20.  My resolution for 2012 was:  Time for writing, quality mothering and better health.  Two out of three ain’t bad.  Maybe I can sit myself down at my keyboard more often in 2013...