October?!?

7:00am: "Mom! Mom! Look outside!"

Holy moley frijole.

7:30am: "Can we pleaeeeeease walk to school?"


Sure, why not?


7:45am We have an exciting trip to school.

8:15am: I return home to find the house all locked up, husband gone to breakfast meeting. No cell phone. No house keys. This place is sealed tighter than a maximum security prison. So as I am walking around the house, trying to find a window I can climb through, I start to notice all the other things that may have been surprised by the snow, too.






8:45am: I see that there is a phone in our sunroom so I am able to call husband and catch him right before his meeting.

9:00am: "Thank you for rescuing me. I am sorry about this. I know it’s lame I don’t carry my house keys."

Husband: "No problem. You’re lucky we live in Ithaca where everything is only 10 minutes away!"

Yes, lucky me.

Satori

Turkey Tail Mushrooms, Buttermilk Falls State Park

How do I begin to explain the gift I have been given? I should do myself a favor and write something less precious.

Sapsucker Woods

I have been blessed in so many ways. I am thankful for the big, bold brush strokes that have defined my life: loving parents; generous friends; earnest children; and a patient husband.

Cayuga Heights

There are also the fine details I constantly remind myself to not take for granted: good health (both physical and mental, and in my family, that is saying a lot), good fortune, and a killer sense of direction (considered much more valuable before GPS).

Catharine Creek Valley

But the gift I am talking about is a flash of enlightenment. Zen Buddhism calls it satori. Freud called it an epiphany. It’s one of those zingers, when all of a sudden everything makes sense. It’s what separates us from the beasts. When we realize how powerful we are and how everything boils down to the choices we make. The big ones and the little ones. Some of us like to pretend we are lab rats that have no control over our lives, but, whether we meditate, take Psychology 101, pray to a higher spirit, or get into a plane crash and then live to tell about it, some of us, if we are fortunate enough, some of us, one day wake up and realize that we hold all our own cards.

Teeter Farm

When my husband asked if I would move to Ithaca for a year, how could I have possibly known what a treasure trove would be coming my way? I resisted at first, afraid to uproot from a life we worked so hard to build. It was scandalous, like we were running away, couldn’t handle the heat, needed a break.

F.R. Newman Arboretum

But my husband is a visionary, planning and plotting and he has been tending this garden of a dream for many years. As I looked into the eyes of my burnt out business world warrior, road weary from years of putting on the dog, I made a decision that has paid off in spades.

Arts Quad, Cornell University

The nature, the quiet, the gentleness of Ithaca over took all of us and has been caressing my family ever since. Facts are, I didn’t realize how crazy and overscheduled we were until we moved. We were so jacked up on work, travel, tennis lessons, basketball teams, fund raisers and social events, that there was no way we could hang loose enough to frog hunt, star gaze or read all afternoon.

Buck Settlement Cemetery

Most people have to use incredible strength and/or go through something painful to get here—a divorce, or worse, a death, maybe losing an important job. I was presented with an opportunity to rethink how I spend my time without having to sever a limb.

Fall Creek

I might not have the final destination all figured out, but I can tell you, it’s a journey worth traveling.

Urban Legend

I had committed to bringing an “egg dish” to the teacher appreciation breakfast this morning at my sons’ school by 7:30. All of the sane mothers left muffins in the office yesterday afternoon, but I wanted to REALLY show my appreciation and bring a hot quiche! Well, we woke up at 7:18…

After I handed my children uncooked turkey dogs for breakfast, stuffed lunch money into their pockets, hollered at them to put their shoes on in the car, I started tearing around the neighborhood, dodging wildlife, and praying I did not skid out in the rain, I thought to myself, “What is wrong with me?" I started beating myself up out loud, “I should have set the alarm! I should have volunteered to bring something easier!” Charlie, my 9-year-old, said, “Or, you should not worry about it.” I made eye contact through the rear-view mirror, “I am really sorry I rushed you guys around this morning. I should know better.” Sam, my 5-year-old, shrugs, happy to have so much action so early in the morning. Charlie looks at me, “So you made a bad choice. No big deal. You can’t always make the right one. Mostly you make good ones, Mom.”

Somehow we made it. I practically threw the hot quiche at the PTA president on my way in to the building, hustled the boys to their classrooms, doled out kisses, jackets and backpacks before the bell rang and even had time to greet the principal in a pseudo-calm manner. As I headed outside, feeling much less frazzled, I realized I had forgotten to put on a raincoat or bring an umbrella for myself. Even though it was still raining, I didn’t mind one bit. I took a deep breath of the damp, refreshing air, slicked my hair back behind my ears and thought to myself, “I am one lucky over sleeper.”

Atonement. Ithaca Style.

Cornell United Religious Work*

We are trying Jewish lite this year. Almost 20 years of observing Yom Kippur with my husband has ranged from getting all dressed up for services like we were running for the presidency to me sending him to synagogue alone because I had to go in to my office for fear of losing my job working for Nazis.

Yom Kippur is the holiest day of the Jewish year and so you are supposed to refrain from work and fast from sundown to sundown. "Yom Kippur" means "Day of Atonement" and the idea is to free yourself up so you can spend the day atoning for your sins of the past year.

The good news is that I don’t have to share my sins with anyone but me, myself and I. God was right there with me when I was committing the sins so it’s no big news as I go through my list today.

Here in Ithaca, we are taking it easy--just a bunch of us carving out time for ourselves and our families. The best part of the day, for me, is almost here--when the sun sets and you clink your champagne glass and kiss your loved ones and know that you have a perfectly clean slate with the big guy.

*Cornell United Religious Work (CURW) is comprised of twenty-nine affiliated communities, offers programs of worship, study, and social life, as well as opportunities for students to engage in interfaith dialogue.

Each weekend Catholic Masses, Protestant worship services, Jewish Services, and Muslim prayers are held.

Are you ready boots? Start walkin'!

University of California at Santa Barbara

Cornell University

It’s a long walk from the sandy beaches of UCSB to the ivy-covered bricks at Cornell. 19 years, 4 cities, 3,000 miles, 2 kids, 1 husband, 3 cats, 8 jobs, and, looking at my two Student ID cards, a hair color and change of wardrobe.

I have traded in more than just my blond hair and flip flops. I am learning to give up over-scheduling, hangovers, worrying about the shape of my ass, and saying “yes” when I mean “Hell, no!”

So, as I pull on my boots and brush my brown hair, I will welcome time for contemplation, healthier habits, self-acceptance, and the ability to set boundaries in a firm, yet polite manner.

I would say that I am giving up sinister thoughts and paper waste, but I am also working on being truthful and real in my writing. I need to kill off Pollyanna and resurrect Chatty Cathy. It’s hard work for anyone trying to make big changes, but you’re not going to get anywhere without taking that first step.

Animal Instinct

Hey! Those three large deer are the same doe and fawns that have been hanging around our house since the beginning of summer! The babies are now as tall as their mother, but I know they are her young offspring because they do things like charge into the middle of the street when grumpy neighbor man starts honking his horn to “scare them away” so he doesn’t accidentally hit one of them. Only a psychopath or youngster would run into an oncoming dented Subaru.

The doe knows my voice. I sing out things like, “Hello sweetie…pretty girl…please get your fat haunches off of my delphiniums.” She usually looks at me, flicks her golden brown ears back, takes another bite of the velvety deep-purple flowers, sniffs the air, and then ever so slowly scans the yard until she locks in on her two charges. I know better than to get between a mother and her babies, no matter how big they are.

So, the spring babies are grown...summer is officially over...fall is peaceful here in Ithaca. Except for the squirrels. They seem to be getting downright nasty. Chasing each other, grabbing at everything the other one may or may not have. When I first saw them shaking tree branches and acting like they were pantomiming that the end of the world was coming, I thought they were trying to mate, but, no, even male squirrels know that the way on top of a female is not by whacking her on the head with an acorn…

Beast of Burden

When a young school age child wakes up his mom at six in the morning saying, “I think I’m sick”, two thoughts rip through her head: “Dear God, please don’t let it be anything serious” and “Shit, there goes my day.”

Yesterday it was my youngest. We had already missed Monday (out of town in NYC for a special family celebration), so I was really counting on Tuesday to play catch up. I had homework and housework, and, damn, a hair appointment! But, I mustered up all of my June Cleaver, got out the thermometer, and started making a fuss. I wanted him to have fond memories of being sick as a child. How does one become hell-bent on being the perfect mother?

I had a “working mom” so when we were sick, she left us with my father, who had more flexibility in his schedule. All a kid with a tummy ache wants is their mommy bringing them 7-Up, but instead I had my ex-Marine father who always acted like we were faking it. I think he liked when we had to stay home, though. By noon, he had me making tuna salad sandwiches and getting up to change the channel for him. Once he even tried to get me to ride my bike to the corner market for cigarettes!

I decided to split the difference with my little guy. I read books, played Lego, and built a race track for his remote control car, but then when 1:00pm rolled around, I dressed him, packed up his portable DVD player and dragged him to the hair salon. The ladies there were sweet and I don’t think he’ll need therapy. At least I didn’t have him fetching chardonnay for me!