Holiday Drinking Game

Who are those people with reindeer antlers on their car?  Where do they even get them?  I have never seen them anywhere in the pop-up ads on my news feeds or in stores, not even in the holiday section at Vons.  Don’t laugh, they had life-sized witches for $89.99 at Halloween and I contemplated tossing one in to my cart along with the six-pack of chardonnay.

Whether you are extra jolly or beyond stressed out this time of year, I can promise you, you are not alone.  We have reasons we are sad or worked up but, thankfully, plenty of reasons to be happy and rejoice.  Let’s not forget Saturday Night Live had more material this year than they knew what to do with.  May we all find the humor in Donald and Hillary.

I love the holidays:  a) blood oranges are in season, b) blood orange margaritas are my favorite and c) holiday parties, gift exchanges and long visits with family are a great excuse for a drinking game.   

Whether you are traveling or entertaining, raising the bar, or lowering it, your celebrations with friends or family or co-workers may need a little loosening up.  To get things rolling, try the Holiday Drinking Game.  Squeeze some blood oranges, or grab a bottle from your six-pack and sit your most stressed-out relative or friend down:

Drink if you know someone who has reindeer antlers on their car.

Drink again if it’s you.

Drink if you do Elf on the Shelf.

Drink again if it is a perverted elf.

Drink if you have given in the past, or are thinking of giving this year, a preteen Beats by Dr. Dre.

Drink again if they are wireless.

Drink if you bought the Trader Joe’s Advent calendar already.

Drink again if you ate some of it and had to buy another one.

Drink if you have adopted a family-in-need this holiday season.

Drink again if you have spent time or money on this family while your own family is overdue for any of the following:  haircut, dog wash, oil change, teeth cleaning, or mammogram.

Drink if you are traveling for the holidays.

Drink again if traveling by economy-class airplane.

Drink a third time if traveling for the holidays by economy-class airplane with a blood relative over the age of 85 or under the age of three.

If traveling for the holidays by economy-class airplane with a blood relative over the age of 85 or under the age of three through O’Hare, Dulles or Denver, drain the bottle.

Drink if you fill Xmas stockings for adults.

Drink again if you fill your own Xmas stocking.

Drink if you wrap any of the gifts for any of the stockings.

Drink again if you wrap all the gifts for all the stockings.

If you fill Xmas stockings for adults, and fill your own stocking and wrap all of the gifts for all of the stockings, see above.

Pro-Tip:  Drink a glass of water between each challenge.

Sending love and good cheer.  I'm hosting Thanksgiving this year.  Wish me luck!