Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Resolutions about Resolutions



A few years ago I changed my approach to New Year’s resolutions. This was after I realized the longest I had kept one was four days--the year I set out to deepen my understanding of current events, vowing to read the New York Times every day. The paper still comes in its bright blue bag, a nagging reminder that I am not keeping my end of the deal. I think the shortest time was when I gave up swearing. I kissed everyone good night, wished them a happy new year and then stubbed my toe on the way to bed at 2am.

My resolutions have spanned from “be a better listener” to the lofty “stop using plastic bags.” My personal favorite: “stop lying about what I spend money on.” Yes, we can all benefit from making healthy changes--eating more vegetables (and if they are locally grown, that’s two resolutions at once for me) and working out regularly, but the year my midnight promise meant the most was when I decided to stop trying to bend my habits and simply choose one thing to accomplish that year that really mattered.

Some people are naturals at prioritizing and making sure they get all the big picture stuff done; however, I often find myself wandering through the year, focusing on things like getting price adjustments on sale items at Target before it’s too late. While I realize raising children is humble work, the only way I am going to look back on my life with satisfaction is if I am able to say to my grand children the same thing my grand father said to me every time I saw him the last ten years of his life: “I am not afraid of dying. I am ready. I had a wonderful life. There is nothing left I haven’t done that I wanted to do.” It used to freak me out, especially when I was left alone with him, thinking if I beat him at backgammon one more time it might be the final push to the grave he kept talking about. I understand now he was reassuring me that ageing is not a scary thing if you live with no regrets.

So, this year, instead of worrying if my boys are making their beds regularly, or scolding myself for buying partially-hydrogenated oils, I am going to research the national parks in New York and I am going to get out my calendar and plot out a way to check them all out while we are still living in upstate New York, while my boys are still interested in hiking and camping with me, while I can still hike and camp…while we are still living…

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Auld Lang Syne



I just received this invitation:

Come celebrate the New Year with us!

Thursday, December 31, 2009
8:00 pm til 2010
[friends’ address], Ithaca

Hang out by the fire, inside or outside, relax, and shake off the old year. Dancing is entirely a possibility.

We'll have the champagne chilled and ready! Please bring your favorite beverage or a nibbly type of thing...

Kids are welcome. Feel free to crash here for the night and join us for a New Year's Day hike in the morning (but not too early in the morning)--or maybe a skate out at the pond...

Hope you can make it,
[friends’ names]

RSVP by Mon Dec 28


This is exactly what I am all worked up over! No one in Ithaca is complaining that their neighbor’s Christmas lights are tacky, or that the mall is a zoo right now. No, they are dreaming up entirely thoughtful and charming parties so that they can say good-bye to the old and welcome in the new by embracing everything magical this time of year...

Friends here are starting to make jokes that I should work for the Ithaca Chamber of Commerce. I guess it’s hard for me not to beam and act like a honeymooner, especially when I am getting enticing little e-mails like the one above!




Cheers!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Snow vs. Sand




Flying back to La Jolla after being gone for 6 months feels like I am meeting up with an old boyfriend, after having been broken up for a very long time. I am nervous, wondering if I will still have feelings for what I’ve left behind, and sad, too, knowing I can’t hide the truth—I have fallen in love with another—will La Jolla know I have just had the best summer and fall of my life?

We have been seeing friends and family and the big question is, “Are you thinking of staying there?” My husband’s answer is that he would love to—he prefers the slower pace of life and his teaching job at Cornell. Who wouldn’t want to trade in a bankrupt state government and urban sprawl for a well-run public school system and storybook neighborhoods? I have been telling anyone that will listen, especially after a drink or two, that I am NOT making any decisions until AFTER the winter. What kind of a sucker do I look like? I didn’t graduate near the top of my average public high school for nothing!

We drove by our old home last night, down our street. It felt like I was looking at someone else’s life, in another person’s world. I am not really sure why there is a lack of emotion on my end. La Jolla is charming, and typical of an ex-lover, has been showing off its very best since we arrived…but like a guilt-stricken heart breaker, I am struggling to enjoy the postcard sunsets, downtown shopping and lazy walks on the beach. All I can think about is how our yard in Ithaca looks with 12 inches of snow and whether or not we should plow the back driveway because it would make a fine hill for those sleds Santa is leaving at “home.”

Saturday, December 12, 2009

What to my wondering eyes should appear?



The neighbor's dog started barking like crazy so I ran over to the kitchen window to see what was the matter. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8!

They were leaping through my yard when all of the sudden they stopped for a huddle.

Hopefully their names weren't Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen! And, more importantly, they better not have been planning to have their after party at my house on Christmas when all the work is done. You know how rowdy they can get when you're out of town.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Someone’s Gotta Give



Tonight was the first night of Hanukkah and I have been trying to get homemade gifts out of the boys all week to give to their grandparents.

First Born Prince is a slam-dunk. He proudly pulled out the one cool piece of art he made this year and asked me to wrap it for him. He likes to please (and delegate), that one. But Charming Baby is another story.

“No. No one can have any of my clay.”

“Oh, Sam, but it is so beautiful, wouldn’t it be nice if Grammy could enjoy your pottery and think of you all year long?”

“No. It wouldn’t. She can’t have it.”

“But, Sam, the spirit of the holidays is to give the people you love something that will make them happy. THIS MUG will make Grammy happy.”

“Mom. It’s mine and I am keeping it.”

I finally had to promise him that he would get it back after Grammy dies. Somehow that was enough reassurance and then he went whole hog and wrapped it himself and made his own card!

So later Grammy came into the kitchen asking me if we had been talking about death lately. I told her the story and she laughed and said, “Oh that explains why he asked if he could have my Beanie Baby collection when I die.”

What a little operator! He even got Grammy to put it in her will.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Dashing through the snow...



It dumped 6 inches of snow last night and there are sleet and ice warnings. The wind is howling and we were hoping for our first official snow day. No luck. When I opened the garage door this morning to take the boys to school, we could see deer tracks and squirrel trails all over the driveway.



Now I know what they like to do in the middle of the night…it’s not a magical Disney circle of friends singing by moonlight…no, I think they were checking out the garbage cans by our back door.

As I was backing up the car, my two little bosses were fretting, “Would if we don’t make it over the wall of snow left from the street plowing? Would if your car gets stuck?” Since we don’t have snow shovels (yet) and “Elegant Estates” hadn’t been out to clear our driveway (yet), I paused and almost laughed out loud as I began to quote many a parent from generations past, “Then we’ll have to get out and walk to school in the snow!”



Ithaca temperature today: 34 “Feels like”: 23

Monday, December 7, 2009

All I want for Christmas is organic chicken.



Just watched “Food, Inc.” and now my plans for going to bed early are ruined. I already knew most of the dirty truth, but I let myself conveniently forget over the years. It gets easier and easier to assume my little food choices won’t make a difference but that is the type of thinking that got us into the mess we are in today and I am NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE.

After watching the film, I can no longer plop regular chicken or any beef into my cart. I am committing to only buying farm raised and organic. Those feed lots are criminal and the slaughtering process is totally inhumane. And as for the poor chickens, they are grown so fast in horrible hen houses (45 days instead of 3 months to go from chick to 5 lb chicken, in the dark, no windows) that their bones and organs don’t develop normally and they drag their little bodies around until they are “processed” (literally thrown by the bunches into a machine to be killed) and then packaged up by Tyson. I refuse to be a part of the demand for this product.

The film is a good reminder that it isn’t right to avert our eyes and ears. We have to look at our choices and realize we are making them. We are not being sold to—we are buying from. There is a big difference and the only way we can make changes is by buying what’s local, in season, organic and not genetically modified. It’s a tall order, but I for one, am working on filling it.

Living in Ithaca these past few months proved to me you don’t have to be rich or a fanatic to eat right and live with a conscience. I see people of all socioeconomic strata at the farmer’s markets, food co-ops and organic grocery stores. I have seen first hand that if you value mindful eating, there are ways to do it on a budget, with a busy schedule and even without a car!

The only way we are going to see a change in the treatment of workers, animals and the legislation aiding it all is if we stop ignoring how and why our mass market food is so cheap and take the food companies head on. We did it once with the tobacco companies and we can do it again with the meat, poultry, pork and seed giants.

Five Things You Can Do Now:
1. Buy organic or sustainable food.
2. Go without meat once a week.
3. Read labels—know where your food comes from.
4. Drink more water, fewer sugary beverages.
5. Support companies that treat workers, animals, and the environment with respect.

Check out the website for more information:
http://foodincmovie.com/

Friday, December 4, 2009

Tradition, tradition...

Tradition!

When we decided to travel to New York City for Thanksgiving, I was a little unsure about how it would all go down. Our friends from California were coming out to meet us for the week, so that part I was excited about.

But when my mother-in-law suggested China Town Brasserie for our Thanksgiving dinner, I balked. What? What is Thanksgiving without sitting around the house all day, eating, drinking too much, fighting with relatives and making gravy? Also, for as long as I can remember, we have ended up ripping our sweaters off and going for a walk in our shorts and t-shirts either before or after the big meal. During the day. From our house. Not at night. From a restaurant. A Chinese restaurant.

As I was making our plans for the week, it dawned on me that instead of fighting over the last pint of whipping cream at an over-crowded Vons, I would be procuring seats for our kids on the bus to a museum.



And rather than hoping I would make it to the florists before they close, I would be running to the theater to get there before last curtain call.



I was going to spend my evenings leading up to the holiday dining in fabulous restaurants, not marketing, cooking and prepping everything possible ahead of time.

So, since I wasn’t going to be washing wine glasses, but rather sipping out of them, why not kick back and embrace the non-traditional holiday?

I leapt out of bed Thursday morning, and not having to worry about getting the turkey into the oven before 9:00am, I enjoyed a few cups of coffee, showered and walked in a very civilized fashion down to view the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade at Columbus Circle.



After a festive brunch and sauntering around Central Park with the kids, we took naps and then all met up at the China Town Brasserie. This fabulous restaurant is on Manhattan’s lower east side and it had great ambiance and even better food.

We topped off the evening with a walk to Greenwich Village for pie in an Italian coffee shop. As I looked around the table over my steaming espresso, I thought that my friend’s comment to me about the whole experience couldn’t carry more sentiment: I’ll never second guess Peking Turkey again.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Apron Strings



I have wondered what would be the triggering event to get this mama to leave her baby home alone for the first time. I always thought it would be something carefully planned out and thoughtfully executed. But, like much of life, it sort of just happened, at the last minute, unexpectedly.

Today was exciting for me--I was invited to a literary luncheon at the home of the President of Cornell, honoring a very distinguished author and Professor of English Literature, James McConkey. I knew his work from The New Yorker and was excited to hear him talk.

Alas, I woke up to First Born Prince, all stuffed up, with a fever and horrible cough. Darling Husband is busy with student finals. Babysitter has school. Housekeeper doesn’t answer phone. I briefly entertained idea of asking elderly neighbor woman to sit with him but then realized she probably needs more care than my 10 year-old.

Me: Charlie, look at this map…see this is our house…and that is the house where the event is. It’s only a block away. How would you feel if I went over there for an hour and a half today? I would have my phone with me and would come running home if you needed anything.

Charlie: Is it really only that far?

Me: Yes.

Charlie: And you will really only be gone from 11:30 to 1:00?

Me: Yes.

Charlie: Can I watch a movie while you’re gone?

Me: Yes.

Charlie: Okay.

We practiced him calling my phone (he had never done that before because I am always with the poor child!), and got him all set up with lunch and a movie. He was a little nervous and I couldn’t decide if I was crazy or not. He is more than capable and more responsible than I am sometimes (Mom, are you speeding? I can see the speedometer!), but he is also so very innocent and still just a child, really. I pushed his little baby face out of my head and put on my lip gloss.

I rushed to the event, was thoroughly inspired and so very glad I untied my apron string for a whole 90 minutes. I almost knocked the President’s wife over rushing out the door after the talk. She must have thought I was a working woman, with a very strict boss who I had to get back to immediately after lunch.

Well, I am and I did.