Flying back to La Jolla after being gone for 6 months feels like I am meeting up with an old boyfriend, after having been broken up for a very long time. I am nervous, wondering if I will still have feelings for what I’ve left behind, and sad, too, knowing I can’t hide the truth—I have fallen in love with another—will La Jolla know I have just had the best summer and fall of my life?
We have been seeing friends and family and the big question is, “Are you thinking of staying there?” My husband’s answer is that he would love to—he prefers the slower pace of life and his teaching job at Cornell. Who wouldn’t want to trade in a bankrupt state government and urban sprawl for a well-run public school system and storybook neighborhoods? I have been telling anyone that will listen, especially after a drink or two, that I am NOT making any decisions until AFTER the winter. What kind of a sucker do I look like? I didn’t graduate near the top of my average public high school for nothing!
We drove by our old home last night, down our street. It felt like I was looking at someone else’s life, in another person’s world. I am not really sure why there is a lack of emotion on my end. La Jolla is charming, and typical of an ex-lover, has been showing off its very best since we arrived…but like a guilt-stricken heart breaker, I am struggling to enjoy the postcard sunsets, downtown shopping and lazy walks on the beach. All I can think about is how our yard in Ithaca looks with 12 inches of snow and whether or not we should plow the back driveway because it would make a fine hill for those sleds Santa is leaving at “home.”
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