What the hell are we fighting for?

There was not a single episode showing June Cleaver away from her home. No, she was always doing housework, greeting Ward when he came walking in the door from work, or making Wally and Beaver a snack.

Carol Brady managed to slip out once in a while, when she wasn’t locked in the bedroom servicing Mike, but it was only to the butcher shop and mostly the focus then was on what horrible thing happened while she away, not watching the kids.

At least Lucy Ricardo was seen regularly out and about, trying a part time job here or hanging out with her girlfriend there. Of course, she liked to drink, had a green card marriage and her confidant, Ethel, was a dingbat, but hey, she was teaching us girls there was something for a stay-at -home mom to do besides laundry.

So here we are--2010. Our foremothers burned their bras, broke glass ceilings and changed policy enabling us to do anything. We can even power around in a submarine now if we want to enlist. Yet still many of us are choosing to stay home. It’s not an easy decision.

Here in Ithaca there is no where to hide. Not a lot of distractions for a gal hoping to do something besides grocery shop, hang out with her kids or get crafty on a snowy afternoon.

They say parenting is humble work. Parenting full-time is even more of a lesson in humility. When someone asks us what we do, no one I know sticks her chest out and says, “Home maker!” It doesn’t roll off the tongue in a professional way like “Defense Attorney” or “Financial Analyst.” I have found I like to embellish a little and throw in extras like “I volunteer” or “I started a second career as a writer". Announcing that I am also “wanton sex goddess” might scar my children.

Whatever we decide to do, my wish for our generation is that our work is meaningful (either pay me or get down on your hands and knees and thank me); our peers respect us (no, I don’t lay around all day checking Facebook!); and that someday, when our sons and daughters look back, they will have good memories of moms who got out of the house, enjoyed their time away from the family, and kept learning and growing and challenging themselves without guilt, fear or June Cleaver flash backs.