I took an eye-opening parenting class from Susie Walton (mother of Lakers’ basketball forward, Luke Walton, ex-wife of NBA legend, Bill Walton). She raised 4 boys, all of them close in age. No, I wasn’t looking for tips on how to keep 6’ 8” boys in food and clothes, although she did give me some good ideas on the subject.
Beyond “teaching” rather than “threatening and punishing” your children, one of the key points I remember is that we don’t need to be over-achievers in order to raise successful, happy children. The example Susie used was organized sports. If you have ever seen a soccer team of 3-year-olds, you know what a joke formal teams, uniforms (and trophies!) for kids under 6 can be. Susie assured us if a kid has talent, they can start a sport at age 13 and still qualify for the Olympics by age 16.
When I rattled this comment off at a dinner party, I had a father of a single child tell me that that was dated information and you HAD to PICK a sport by age 3, get your kid going and STICK with it or else there would be no chance of your child playing his sport competitively in high school or college, let alone pro anything.
I took a swig of my wine and thought to myself, “Susie’s information can’t be that dated, can it?” I told the guy, “Well, I sincerely hope you and your son are enjoying all the practices and games and that you are doing it for fun, because if you are forcing yourself to do it so your kid makes the grade, we all know how that can backfire. Look at Tiger.” He wished me luck with my philosophy and I wished him luck comforting his son when my son wiped the courts clean with him in 6 years. (Just kidding about the last part.)
The doubt creeps in from time to time, although I did feel a little better when I saw that here in Ithaca—the birthplace of lacrosse—First Born Prince wasn’t the only 4th grader who had never played before. In fact, there were four other boys his age that tried it for the first time this spring.
Then, yesterday, I found it—evidence that I am not foolishly enjoying lazy afternoons in our backyard with my boys when I should be racing around to scheduled activities.
In the July issue of “O” magazine, there is an article about Misty Copeland, the talented 27-year-old ballerina now appearing in Swan Lake and The Sleeping Beauty at New York’s Metropolitan Opera House, “5 Things Misty Copeland Knows for Sure”. And I quote:
“I didn’t take dance or gymnastics as a kid—my first ballet class was when I was 13…”
“There are ballet dancers who burn out by their teens, but I was ready to go and still hungry. My body wasn’t worn down, and I didn’t have that craving for approval that gets ingrained when you start at age 3 or 4. I was just dancing to dance, because I loved it.”
The whole article was inspiring and gave me the extra confidence I was looking for to go with my gut on this one.
Final Score
Closed-minded, assumptive Dad driving all over in car: 0
Investigative, informed Mother floating around in pool: 1
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