This month’s issue of Cosmo has a black plastic cover over it in the magazine rack. The kind that the airport uses to hide Playboy covers. What could Wegmans possibly be trying to protect us from?
“Bad Girl Issue—For Sexy Bitches Only”
This ought to be good.
“What He Thinks During Sex—The Crazy, Dirty, Worried, and Yes, Sweet Stuff That Goes Through His Head When You Two Get Naked”
I’ll bet there are no Crock-Pot recipes in there.
“Foreplay Men Crave—Touch His Secret Erotic Spot (Surprise: It doesn’t Rhyme With Shmenis)”
This is news?
I snap a photo for the blog and my best friend buys the issue so she can give me the cover to reference.
Me: You don’t need to spend five bucks, I can just jot down the article titles.
BF: It’s okay, I got it.
Either she is still the master of efficiency or she secretly wants to know more about “8 Things Guys Notice Instantly.”
I didn’t argue with her, it wasn't that long ago we were taking quizzes out of it to see if we knew the difference between a G-Spot and G-String. There are some things your mother doesn't teach you, they don't print in text books and you can't figure out on your own. Even though I suspect those articles were light on insight, who am I to second guess the self-proclaimed “bible for fun and fearless females?”
I loved the innocence of a town that has to protect its good residents from the likes of "Shmenis"! It made me realize how de-sensitized much of the country has become to explicit sexual content thrown in our faces. There is something sweet about being shielded from “Foreplay Men Crave—Touch His Secret Erotic Spot". Charlie and Sam and all the other kids in the check-out lines don't need to read that!
ReplyDeleteBut I have to admit, their auntie did pick up some useful tips. : )