Not Pictured: [My son’s name here]

I missed the notice from the after-school math club about them taking the photo for the yearbook last week.  I can’t believe after two years of attending this enrichment program, run by a volunteer math professor from Cornell, my older son missed out on getting pictured with the rest of the Math Olympiad team.  He doesn’t know yet and won’t until June, or he reads this post, whichever comes first.   I am not sure if he’ll resent me, but I feel bad.  Letting him down in this way is right up there with the other top ten mothering offenses I’ve committed during my boys’ formative years. 

1.     Losing my younger son’s blanket.  I have been the trusted guardian when we are out of the house, having carried it on countless trips in my bag for him before.  He has slept with it pulled up to his nose every night of his seven-year life.  I accidentally left it on the Disney cruise ship last month.  Everyone keeps saying, “Oh, it’s Disney, you’ll get it back.”  So far, no dice.

2.     Tossed my older son’s first diorama he ever made into the recycling bin just as he walked into the laundry room to catch me giving it one last final smash down.

3.     Missed a play/performance at school (both children, different events).

4.     Forgot to play tooth fairy (both children, different nights).  I swear this is not due to chardonnay consumption.

5.     Insisted First Born Prince have a circus theme party for his 3^rd birthday when he wanted a Batman party.  He cried over the clown.  Now that I think about it, hired entertainment in a tight Batman suit might have been more interesting than the clown.

6.     Yelled at Charming Baby to stop being such a baby and get his shoes on.  Turns out there was a sock stuffed into the toe.

7.     Yelled at Charming Baby to stop being such a baby and get his shoes on.  Turns out his feet did grow a size while we were on vacation.

8.     Worried that First Born Prince wasn't making friends at lacrosse practice, I asked an older brother of one of the players to go out and introduce some of the kids to him.  My son wanted to know if I was meddling (after he begged me not to) and I said, "No."  "Oh, really, Mom, then why did that big kid come tell me if I want to know people's names, I should ask the coach, not have my mommy help me?"

9.     Lied for my own good, versus theirs.  I do this all the time.  (“Sorry, they weren’t home”, “Sorry, they were sold out”, “Sorry, it’s a pool club rule”)

10. A few weeks ago at the end-of-the-season ski club party at the water park, I swear Charming Baby told me he was packing his own swimsuit, just like his brother.  When we got to the water park, neither of us had a suit for him.  I forced him to dig through the Lost & Found and try on the only suit we could find, too-big, had-to-be-cinched at the waist, hanging almost to his ankles.  While we were arguing over whether or not he would wear the damn thing, he missed the ski club photo being taken around the corner.  He adores ski club, his favorite activity, bar none.  To top it off, later that day, one of the guys who works at the park stopped him and said, “Hey, that’s my suit!”