Viruses, Good and Bad

Charming Baby has two warts (that I know about) I haven’t treated, although I did buy the medication.  This is newsworthy because my brother used to terrorize me when we were the same age by pinning me down and rubbing his wart on my exposed skin.  I still have nightmares that I will wake up, covered in miniature cauliflowers.  “Not the face!”  I would yell.  I have pulled the little glass wand out of the vial several times but my son runs off shouting, “Nooooo!”  I say to him, “Fine, be warty.”

Both my children have had warts.  Sharing this information is a good way to see who is being real with me and who is pretending.  Some people think that things like warts only happen to dirty children.  This, despite all evidence to the contrary.  I am here to tell you that my kids are some of the cleanest in town, but I wouldn't mind debating it.  Precious few mothers are willing to go there.  Most of us are so busy trying to put out a respectable image that we miss the opportunity to really connect and bond.  I am working on it.

My friend told me last night she loves that about me.  This is dangerous.  It’s reminiscent of the time my husband told me he thought it was sexy that I cursed.  I really, truly should not be encouraged.  For a year after that I was fucking sloppy. We had to have a talk about how it’s more powerful when used discriminately.  He’s right.  Fucker.  My friend said that she feels safe being her true self with me, that I won’t judge her if she reveals something bad.

I appreciate her compliment, but I would say most everyone is relieved to hear someone else is having a bad day, thought or problem.  There is no bigger turn-off than little Miss Perfect.  I am eternally grateful for the friends who confide in me.  We all have issues; it’s just a matter of who is willing to fess up and who isn’t.  I think our most powerful way to grow and heal is by sharing the worst and realizing we are not scaring anyone off.   Sometimes this sharing process yields helpful information--like the name of a good therapist, or the tip on applying Compound W while he is asleep.  Often, it is just knowing we are still loved, warts and all.