Perspective is Everything

One of the things that blows my mind here in Ithaca is that you can be hanging out with someone for months thinking she is just some nice stay-at-home mom and then one day you find out she is a Harvard MBA and used to eat investment bankers for breakfast.  My friend decided to quit the rat race and move to a sweet, affordable college town to raise her babies with her husband.

Yesterday I was chatting with my mommy friend at the ski club end-of-season party.  We were at the Greek Peak water park, sitting in our bathing suits, watching all the adorable elementary school kids get high on soda.   I was talking about moving back to La Jolla and we hit upon the subject of perspective and peer group. 

I was fascinated about her example of one of her colleagues who lives in NYC.  She said he is literally one of the smartest guys in the world and I believe her.  She and he were talking about his decision on whether or not to hire a third shift of nannies at home.  Among power couples you have Nanny Shift 1—for daytime, Nanny Shift 2—for evenings, because trust me there is no way you are walking out the door at 5:30 when you are pulling down $2 million a year, and then most have Nanny Shift 3 for weekends.  How are you supposed to attend the opera and recuperate from your heinous work week of brokering deals and going out to dinner every night unless there is a nanny to run the kids to karate and soccer on Saturday???  He prudently decided to not hire shift # 3 and his peer group was shocked.  They strongly advised him to reconsider.  It would be a huge mistake to give up all that flexibility.  You could always spend time with your kid, but you might regret not having the nanny there just in case you felt like going to the gym.

I came home and was incredulous to the Professor.

“We are raising a generation of freaks!  Why are these people choosing lifestyle over being with their kids?  Is the house in the Hamptons, condo in Aspen and yacht in Florida really that important?”

“Calm down we are only talking about something like 6,000 people in NYC, 6,000 people in London…”

I relaxed but it still made me think about how we arrive at our stations in life thinking we couldn’t possibly live without what we have.  We tell ourselves it is all a trade off.  For most Americans, it’s working for a mortgage and a car, for some it’s a cleaning woman or family vacation, and for .001 percent it’s a personal chef and energy healer named “Eagle” who makes house calls.

I am so very thankful I was forced to live without a lot of help (it isn’t available here in Ithaca unless you pay through the nose and have some rather questionable looking/sounding people in your yard, pool or home) for two years.  I am planning to go back to La Jolla and live with less so I can do more.